Our own experiences have been a bit on the back burner here of late, ever since the failed spanking incident awhile back. I know better now, but I realize that I dropped GM on that day, and I never picked him back up. To say, I didn't realize that was something that happened and that it was something I needed to do. I just simply didn't know (and I feel like the full weight of that is hitting me now). I know he's fine, but it's still left a trepidation in his movements forward with me. Never mind the fact that I am a difficult, bratty, hard to command sub that makes his life difficult. And it's not something I enjoy doing either, but the fight to help him command and the fight to say, "Just tie my up and whip the shit out of me already!" is obviously things we need to work on.
Of that, with his desire to dom being left unattended. Mind you, I've tried pulling at his strings here and there, but I can't make him dom me.... in the few times we've tried that, it's fake. But, along comes another sub who we happen to meet the night that I collared (aka, was distracted) Oz and GM felt a connection with her. When she told him, "Harder!" when he gave her nipple a squeeze when they kissed goodbye, he was peaked with the interest of having her as a sub. I'm not sure if it was my intuition of "this will never last" or complete and total trust in GM but I was oddly calm and serene with it. I didn't feel that any of my security in any of the relationship dynamics I have with GM were being threatened.
In the ensuing days, lots of flirting between the two of them happened...Doreen, as I'm going to call her, attempted several times to engage me, but I just wasn't feeling it. At the time, I blamed it on being occupied with the goings on with Oz and the talk that we needed to have. Again, I completely trusted him. What did bug me was Doreen's desire to get involved in every aspect of our lives- suddenly I saw her communicating with Oz and Omnia, attempting to include herself with events and things to do with them. I was willing to let it go on account of first time shiny excitements.
A couple weeks after the first meeting, GM and I had the opportunity to go to a house party with Doreen. This was while Oz and Omnia were on their anniversary vacation and I had the blues, which weren't bad, but I made sure to put my best foot forward. I was especially not feeling being into anything BDSM wise (more on that in a moment... and yes, sorry this is a longie but I'm only giving Doreen one blog's worth of time) but GM and Doreen were. My sub was several hundred miles away, GM wasn't in the mode of doming me, I was just....meh about the whole thing.
Later in the evening, GM takes Doreen up to the room and I stay downstairs. This was a very odd feeling. If it had been Omnia, I would have been 100% fine- I know she adores her friend GM and that's it, but Doreen was an unknown and their absence made it clear. After awhile, I go up to see what's going on. I get to the outside of the room their obviously in...
SMACK!!
I stop in my tracks and I don't want to go in. Not that I couldn't go in, but I've never seen GM go after someone else while in Dom mode... I'm still not sure why it unsettled me, but it's quite likely I was afflicted by not being in that great of a mental space, and recognizing my uneasiness with her being an unknown. So, I go back downstairs... and of course, everybody that I was talking to was gone. I was the one place I didn't want to be: alone. Light up a cigarette, text Oz and Omnia to "touch reality" for a moment and then I decide to go back up, this time, to go in.
I'm going to skip this because I don't want to run the blog too long, but the fun that was had was okay. I realized I didn't have a connection with her while playing...it was just meh- as sex always is with me when I'm not connected to them. In the swingers realm, you've gotta bring more to the table than my favorite black bullet vibe and my stainless steel g spot stimulator. They're always available, come with no drama and if I get bored of them? They're not going to be upset if they end up in the trash.
Trying to skip through to the important things... In the days after, Doreen texted GM and said that she wanted him alone.
Ummm....what? I actually couldn't believe that she said this.... it wasn't a request, as you do in the lifestyle.... it was a demand. GM didn't quite see it the same, but she had been very demanding about things that she wanted, didn't want, etc etc.
This didn't fly, GM told her so immediately and she "covered" her tracks by saying I want you however I can get you and I want afina too. GM and I argued about this for a bit, because he didn't see it for what it was. After this was when the big push for us to do something with her and Oz and Omnia. I kept my cool, shot her down immediately because this isn't something that Omnia is necessarily interested in- yes, certain facets but if GM is going into full scene mode with Doreen and I with Oz....what's my sweet Omnia going to be doing? You can only watch for so long before you get bored, left out, etc. Nope. Not going to have that if for no other reason than the fact that she is my friend and I love her dearly.
Like anything that is dying that doesn't want to, Doreen started to reek of a certain desperation. More texting while GM was at work, trying to text with me, and a friend suggested that she go to a local meetup with us (not knowing about what was going on between us either) and she went. GM informed her that this was a social, no BDSM stuff would go on, he wasn't in Dom mode.
Doreen acted like a child. I don't want even say a brat because that can have it's positive side in BDSM. No, she sulked, and moped and anytime GM would make a motion that could be possibly interpreted as an act to dominate her, she'd over react and say that was just her natural response. (what the fuck ever... I'm sure you hear someone clap their hands together and throw your pants down anticipating a spank.) Okay, in fairness...she didn't throw her pants down, but she acted like she was going to throw her hands on the table and say, "SPANK ME DADDY!"
The final insult was when we went to give her a kiss goodnight. She quivered and turned into a puddle of sex when she kissed GM... alright fine, maybe you are just really honestly this pent up. When she kissed me? Bitch literally slapped me with her lips! I didn't know it was even possible!
Needless to say, we're done with her. The fact that she made a state of herself in a place where GM finds people he can connect with was unacceptable, her actions with kissing just put a corn kernel in that turd.
Luckily, GM didn't get his feelers hurt... he was just insulted with her actions. She's a grown woman, supposedly in the BDSM lifestyle and the swinging lifestyle for quite some time... this may be true, but being a decent human being in public was something that seemed to fail her...
Cest la vie. She's someone elses problem now.
-afina
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