What started out as a great conversation...that ran a little long (which I don't think was completely unexpected) turned into a night that I had to face a deamon. And ex friend, someone who betrayed a trust that I was told, ensured, held to guarantees would never...never be broken, only to find out that not only was it broken, but in the cheapest possible way: Gossip.
I was given some mousy I'm sorry after a night of trying to figure out how to make sure that everybody is happy. Something that worries me constantly? Why? cause I care. The very thing I was accused of being for ulterior motives. I can't just care that much because my heart is that big. No, I must be something else. Fuck him. Fuck the past year and a half of me showing that I'm strong enough to deal with it.
Oz... I need you to not wear your collar for awhile... I just need my friend. Omnia, my sweet girl who puts up with not one, but two terriers...I'd risk driving shit faced to see your smile. Even that meek one that calls bullshit on my ramblings. Both of you, and your friendships are screaming at me to stop crying, feel better, and right now, I can't.
I finally broke... now I just need to pick up the pieces and glue them back together.
I've done it before.
-Afina
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